Saturday night Sunday morning …on the train on the way home…
2:50 am just left Douglas on a cab, now I go home. . I played pool today at BBC. The table looked huge at first; too much time on the bar table. I raced to seven with Aaron. I won seven to three. Afterwards we went to go eat at china town; we ate a lot of food. I had chicken and peanuts in hot sauce; it cleared my sinuses. Then we went to the E-bar. Douglas was there on the table already. We all drank and played pool. Douglas was making fans. People feared to play him. Some girl offered to pull up her top for him if he let her play. Douglas said no. She said you must be gay. Aaron had a bit of a cold. I Played bouncer at some point and Douglas was backing me up; thugs. I smoked a lot. I have a little cough now. Lindsey is there and drama has yet again followed her. She told me everybody in the bar thinks she is a little loose. Sam was bartending; Sam is Venus, even Douglas noticed her. Sam is dreamy. I saw Mike. Mike told me he woke up drunk as well from last night. The bar had some real dorks in it tonight; it also had some real friendly ladies as well. On Monday some of Douglas new ladies- fans will be there to watch him shoot. We play big Al’s team.

About Friday night I can’t afford a relationship right now. All I can afford is an affair. “Sex is a misdemeanor the more sex you miss the meaner you get; I got that quote from a Mea West add in the bathroom Friday night at a blues bar. I played a little pool yesterday. Then I went to the E-bar and drank. Emi showed up, she told me an old mutual friend of ours tried to make-out (kiss) with her last Sunday at the BD-party; everybody was kissing that night. Emi is very kissable. I told Emi how old I was and she did not believe me.no one every does. I said it was a secret. She said oh ok. Emi took three steps way from and started yapping my age to her crew. Thanks Emi you 23 year old Abb-Fab-gal. Gota remember those 23 year old’s. so old. I meet a girl on the pool table At E-bar; we played pool. Ronnie said when he walked in as she was playing with me on the table he noticed I was looking at her as if she was my nursemaid, I was staring at her like I was a little puppy dog while she shot; her game was kind of hot. I asked if she wanted to be on a pool team. She said she would love to. Look out Rumble Fish, here comes another killer for the roster. I had a conversation with Shannon. I can see and appreciate were she is coming from. Or were she is now. I don’t think anybody would make heads or tails of the things we were talking about. Or how we were talking. If and average person was standing there with us listening to us they would have had us both put away. It was refreshing to got to a place I haven’t been at in a long time. Aaron meet me at the bar later in the evening, he meet a girl there. They played darts. Aaron’s a chick magnate. About two in the morning, mike the owner of E-bar ask if I wanted to go bar hopping with him. I said ok and we went to a few places. The last place we went too was a blues club. The live music was good. Mike was dancing. There were some hot ladies dancing to the music as well. It was fun. I got real drunk. On the way home everybody on the train was drunk and throwing up. I had to pee real bad so I peed in-between train cars; my pee was two stops long, 23rd to 28th street. I got home at 5:30 I passed out then I woke up at 9:00am I was still drunk I stood up till my drunk was over, I ate, I watched TV, then I went back to sleep. I didn’t wake up with a hang over.

I made the ball... If your wondering....

All About Yesterday

10:30 am
There is s a crazy women in my neighbor hood who goes around asking people for change all the time, this mourning on the way to work she walks up to me and asks me “can I have dirty-bibe-dent?” I walked away ignoring her. Then I kept thinking what the hell was she asking me for? It occurred to me later on what she was asking for when I paid for a cup of coffee at the newsstand. She asks for thirty-five cent. Her heavy accent made it a little difficult to translate dirty-bibe-dent into thirty five cents. Oh well.
*
The last couple of days I have hade an unfamiliar kind of sleep. I sleep deep in short times. I go too bed at three in the mourning sometimes at four and wake up at six or seven almost feeling like I slept for twelve hours. I am even remembering my dreams.
*
I have a date on Saturday and I will bring her to the E-bar to meet the guys. If Ronnie flirts with her and she is receptive to him than I know she can’t be trusted. If she ignores him too hard then I know she can’t be trusted. If she shows insecurity over the good looking bartenders than I know I am wasting my time. A test is a shity thing to do, if you have to run a trust test on a potential spouse then why date her or him to begin with?
*
6:35 pm Broadway B…
Playing with Douglas and Oliver rotation on the BBC table. We are beating each other up. Oliver is a lot better than I thought. He has got a lot of heart. He likes to make the ball more than anything. Me? I like how I make the ball more than making it. Douglas? He likes to win with both how and do. What a trio we make.
*
9:30 pm at Sleep late bar.
Stephanie is stressed. To many people want her. Her old boss wont let her leave the team; or her job so to speak. She got a better offer. Or so she thinks. I have seen her for the last couple of days with the same expression on her face. This very familiar face. Kind of a worried/confused/sad/vexed-look. I have been there; A lot. Not with her situation but with a dilemma sitting on me for days and days and its showing on me like a 42 street billboard. For a long time I watch people I know handling much more complicated situations with a very cool nonchalant edicate. Steph looks like what I look a lot of times. I feel relieved that I am not the only one who sometimes have heavy thoughts showing on me like a ten-gallon hat; still got to get her ballet tickets.
*
9:35pm
Having a discussion with Steph about faithfulness’ and unfaithfulness. Why do we do this? Go through Faithful and unfaithful dilemmas? Natural Desire? Necessity? Survival? The list goes on. If it’s so long then does it matter the reason, why make laws around it if it’s natural human behavior? We are gona do it no matter what. Sometimes even if we don’t want too.
10:45 pm
I am teaching Ronnie how to use my ibook. He is happy.

Today

3:37pm

Aaron called. Aaron wants to go drinking today. So we will.

From Cynthia Posillico Why being Catholic sucks… Wed. Ash Wed. Hump day. No meat…no humping. No humping meat ether. ||||||||| I am feeling very tired and upset that I have to make a Cape Codder and I’m not on the cape. If I were I would be eating oysters, drinking gin martinis, and barefoot. Why is it so difficult to catch fish when there are so many of them? I wish I could sail. I wish I were in love. I wish the man I loved could sail and catch fish and never want to dance at weddings. |||||||| Working can wait this is paradise having no work to do and taking it easy too, working can wait. |||||||| I recently went on a date with a guy who had a lot of tattoos and it was sort of cool because it kept the conversation going. I don’t know if I would have had anything to say to him if he didn’t have so much conversational shit all over his body. I actually think it is a good idea for shy people to get tattoos and work out some kind of explanation for each one. It helps. There are no awkward silences when a person has a screaming dragon on their forearm. I wish I was bit more shy. I have no need for tattoos. I’ll tell you everything about myself if you should happen to ask. |||||||||||||| I was born in Brooklyn and raised in Florida. My parents are still married and crazy in love with each other. My brother eloped in Vegas last year. I have no pets, but want a French bulldog. I want him to be a boy and I will not name him until we meet. My favorite color is pink, but I am not a fan of red. I have never been truly moved by a painting, but music kills me. I have no talent for music. Until recently I seemed to only date musicians because they did the stuff that got me. They never get me and I never get them and it’s a big mess. I’m recovering. ||||||||||| I love Rock-n-Roll put another dime in the…whatever. ||||||||| Maybe a classical musician would be okay. Like a violinist or pianist. I hate saying pianist out loud in front of people. Embarrassing.

Sonny has a big ash on his for head. Sonny says, back before Jesus Christ was crucified Mc Donald’s didn’t sell too many burgers. Especially on Friday; over two burgers sold.
One of the missing pages of the bible, Jesus goes to Mc Donald’s. He just ate fries. Jesus Christ the teen years.
Sonny says he plays pool with people who don’t believe in Christ….uh, and?
I played Tony. Tony is tearing me a new one on the table. Tony is playing someone with a pinched nerve in his lower back and neck. It is very pain full to go down on the shot. Every stroke hurts. My energy that is normally for whatever activity I am on. Is now focusing on healing the pain in my neck. Even in pain, my mechanics give him a game.
Some woman said I look like Al-Sharpon. Molly-want a cookie? Some woman from up stares is complaining about the music coming from the bar. She is crazy. She told me she doesn’t even really live up there. She is crazy. I told her egg cartoon her head.

The Sabian Oracle Says:
GEMINI 4 # 64
HOLLY AND MISTLETOE BRING SPIRIT TO A HOME.
There regularly comes a time when we need to reconnect with loved ones, family, or, in a larger sense, humanity to discover the strengths and joys in the cultural and religious bonds that hold us together. Even though we may live our lives primarily as separate entities, this bond can serve to strengthen each and every participant.
Social celebrations of the spirit. Returning to basic joys. Celebrations of family and friends. Joy. The value of community.
The Caution: The use of superficial tricks or performance to achieve happiness or meaning. Neglecting family.

Then I asked a second question
The Sabian Oracle Says:
CANCER 22 # 112
A YOUNG WOMAN AWAITING A SAILBOAT.
There is a strong sense that the ideal will come if you wait long enough. The waiting can lead to a pleasurable expectation, but don't become dependent on unreliable expectations. If you are constantly looking out, then you are not giving enough time to looking back or inward at the things you already possess or have ready access to.
Waiting for one's ship to come in. Escapist fantasies that waste time. Longing for escape..
The Caution: Longing for fulfillment that may never arrive. Hoping that things will one day `happen'. Missing opportunities through emotional inaction.

I think I did get good luck after eating the cake with the toy inside cuase a truck load of hot chicks walked into the bar last night tp play pool. Mardi Gras stuff. Flash Valerie the Bartender and get beads and a free drink. A good flash a good drink and so fourth. I flashed twice; got beads, beer and a jack with coke. Then played pool. Some hot ladies walked in. one of-em plays pool on a regular basis. she is hot as well. I was telling Douglas next season I’m going to put together an all girl team. She will be one of-em.

I ask Molly to write something in my diary. Molly Writes….
The boy I am totally infatuated with just sent me a text message that read’s, “you should call later – I’ll be up…all night.” And right now I am having a difficult time wiping the shit grin off my face. www.mollyknight.com
*
Molly is the best. She works the hardest at the bar; at least in my opinion. Valerie too; Val is yummy. Molly did her hair, it looks gorgeous. Sam is beautiful, like Venus. E--- bar really does have the smartest and best-looking women bar tenders in the lower east side.
*
I played today; I’m-talking-about Ronnie’s Tuesday team. I played, I won. Marcus; my player for my Monday team is on the Tuesday team we are playing against today. Marcus is a level #5. He played against Peter Cheng who is on Ronnie’s team; Peter is a level #7. Marcus won. Marcus is good and he is on my Monday team; Yayyyy. After playing George yesterday he should destroy a lot of people for a while now. Rachel, won her match. William and Rachel Gave Ronnie’s team dignity for tonight’s games and match. There are two girls with the same name on Ronnie’s team (Rachel). One of the Rachel’s is very angry with Ronnie. She took Ronnie’s nervous energy personal as she was shooting. He called a coach when she was down on her shot. When Ronnie shows urgency to win, he tend’s to be a little jumpy with his coaches and such along with talking a little smack about the quality of the game; just a little. It doesn’t bother me too much. Almost not at all. If I lose and get a bit of a scolding from him, I can read between his lines. I wont take his critique for one of my loses too personal. I know what he is really saying. “ I want too win William please help me-cause I cant do this by myself” I will just listen calmly and do the best I can.

People really take this game to heart sometime. I do it sometimes as well; just sometimes. Once I had this desire to be a champion, so I practiced all the time. I hit a certain paltue in my game and I came across some new questions in my endeavor to be an excellent pool player; whatever an excellent poolplayer is. I think it might be the time invested to be ranked as good in the pool community and whom you play and beat; I think. The thing with pool is, even when you win you still have to win again another day. So how valuable is a win. This applies for loosing as well. If you lose, you will have a chance to get win another day. A win that will last what? 15 minutes. MGM said to me once. “You are only as good as your last win” Meaning; even if you win a hundred times in a row and lose once. People will remember that one lose more than any of the wins. Sure they will fear you if they play you but its that lose that will give your opponent a sense of hope and the confidence needed to try and beat you or just too win. Don’t you just love pool.

These days when I win, I don’t feel like I’m winning anything. These days when I lose I don’t feel like I’m losing anything ether. Is this what George means by “just have-fun”? When I lose a game or a match and see that guy jumping up and down, I find it fascinating. I see he feels he got a good win. I see he feels/thinks he took down a giant; me. I find that more of a compliment than acutely beating someone who is just not as polished and tuned as I have so “supposedly” developed according too some APA’ers. I apply the principles of art to the/my game and get results that make me happy. Even when I miss. I know I did what I wanted to do and no one can tell me I did wrong. Now give me my cookies....

7:00pm. Sitting here at Dukes on the spot live…Rumble fish verses Barsinisters, (old nick name; the roach on the stick team), That’s an inside joke. Mark is no longer the captain it is now Jhon.
Aaron won his match. 3 too 1. Aaron played like a champ. Oliver played and the other guy got lucky. Douglas blames me a little. Maybe it is true he should; maybe not. I let him give me a scolding. He is my champion, he is my buddy, he is entitled. However the champion Oliver that he is he still blames himself. (He blames it solely on an Italian broad from Long Island. Chicks go figure.)So the game begins. Douglas wins the lag. Douglas just did a killer shot on the 8-Ball on the first game. Douglas won the second game in the same manner as the first. Armando is breaking down; one brick at a time. Maybe Armando AKA the wolf man is dreaming about the days of Lucy’s. Armando looks scared. Armando just did an ugly shot. Douglas looks too good. I am scared for the wolf man. Douglas shoots, Douglas does not score. Oliver just said “oooOOOOOO-ugly”. Douglas just gave Armando a ball in hand. I hear a thump. Aaron trips and falls down walking by the table in the background, I don’t look because I am too busy watching Armando getting a coach from the infamous George. Douglas just lost the first game. The race now is Douglas 2 Armando 3. And the beat goes on. Douglas wins the game with a run; Douglas wins his match now it is two one. My new player Marcus is up I match him against George. George wins the lag, George breaks, George runs the table, “1”. George breaks an runs it down to the 8 misses the 8. Marcus shoots one ball then another then another then misses George is up, runs the table.”2”. George breaks, George runs the table. “3”. Do I really need to go on? George wins all the games. George wins the match. George is not a level 7 he’s more like level 10 today; just today I now his game already. But I heard he lost last week to a level 4; chicks go figure. He still tells me I want to be on your team William. I think to myself hell-fucken-no but I say to him ‘the day you stop drinking is the day I will put him on my team”. LoL. The first season I put him on, he lost a lot, then he started fighting with me and the team, then he quit. But he came back a few weeks later and said I felt like a loser quitting, like a quitter, I am no quitter I am no loser so I put him back on, he may not be a loser or a quitter but he is a drunk and needs help with his drinking problem. William is up. They match a 3 against William. William puts on an ill nino cd for his game. William wins the lag. William wins the first match then the second then runs the third. William wins. Three two xxxtory for Rumble fish. This should put us on 19/20 points for the season so far. Weeeeee.
*
Were the wild things are…

I found a wild animal on the street today. A Badger.Hmmmmmm.
I have wild animals on my team. Most APA captains adopt players who are domestic animals like poodles, parakeets, Hamsters, canaries, cat, dogs gold fish etc. Not me. Not my team. I always had Lions and Tigers and Bears and Wolverines and Badgers, Eagles, and Sharks. I just got a strong grip on the fact that every single one of my players over the years have been independent people who live in the city ether alone or on some semi survival life style with barley a family member close by to bail them out if the chips are down. Every domestic animal I had on my team in the past jump ship. I think Marcus is my first domestic animal for Rumble fish who wont jump ship; Also-who-I-think-might-now-want to run with the wild animals to improve his game. Lets see how he does this season. I believe in Marcus. I know he’s got the heart and the skills. George was a good start. Lets see him turn into a wild animal. Mark didn’t want me talking to George. Mark wants to think he knows George better than I do. George is one of the wildest animals I had on my team. Mark doesn’t realize the Wild animal he has on his team. But he will soon. Good luck Mark, taming the beast of Broadway.
*
So far this season, I really haven’t tried to work hard at being a captain. I barely call the team to show up and there showing up. Don’t have to ask for money. They are paying. Maybe I will take next week off. Went to edge bar after ward, watched the other team play. George was there, MGM was there. George doesn’t really want to be on the team he is on write now. If he just fucken behaved and slowed down with the booze I might put him on Rumble fish again, but that will never happen. Poor George doomed to be a floater in life. I am not that far from it myself.

4:22pm. Today we play the team Georges is on; wWeeeEEeeEEe. Douglas was talking strategy against George; why? Talking about match up and such. I had that wacky guy on my team for about 6/7 seasons. I know his game like the back of my hand. The best strategy is just one. When they put him up, just get him out of the way. Don’t try and beat him, you will end playing for about three hours. Win or lose it doesn’t matter. Just get him out of the way and maneuver the team match ups around him. ateam can only win as a team it dosent mater if a team has just one good player, you need 5 points for a win not one. Its team 8 ball.

Yesterday (sunday) at 2:00pm. Just thinking on the way to the bar…The UN forgiven conversation on the phone.
*
I’m talking to my buddy on the phone and we are having a conversation on forgiving. Lets see…. Can I forgive? Yes I can. I am thinking about all the terrible moments I went thru with my friends and family over the years and thought despite-all-that witch transpired, we still say hello to each other, hug on Christmas and look and speak to each other like we are old friends and family. I have been here before. The whole trying to rationalize forgiving-something or someone-that cant be forgiven easily thing. Its bad for the soul-I have said this before. In the past, I have had family members do the most terrible and –or unbelievable acts of evil possible to me and-or to each other and still somehow or another I find it in themselves or myself to forgive. Is it fear that makes us forgive? Is it selfishness? Are we forced to forgive because of the consequence of not forgiving? Why do we forgive? Pride; maybe, dignity? Does it all depend on what it is? Can you forgive and unfaithful lover as opposed to a back stabbing brother sister or friend? What is the difference? Reasons; meaning, committing an act with an action in-witch will lead to trouble in yours or a relationship on any level. Jesus gave his life for this "forgiving thing". Not that I really believe in the bible because I know its missing pages. But the story is interesting. I can forgive; most of the time. But it takes me time. Nobody ever put a time limit on forgiving, unless I was dying of something. Dying from life. For the record I am now going to officially forgive…err…. uh…well…gee…funny…I can’t even write down what I want to forgive. Not that I don’t know what it is because I do…but now I suddenly feel angry at the things I find tuff to forgive. Or maybe I am angry with my self. I wish I could forget those things I need to forgive. Or at least I think I need to forgive. I feel like I am going to surrender something if I forgive. The trouble with this is I don’t know what I am surrendering. This is one of those, I didn’t realize I had it until I have completely lost it thing. Interesting. Well, time to get off the train. Off to pool and party land.
*
Yesterday (Sunday) at 4:00pm. I played pool at BBC and shot well. Then I played some kid who is on Jimbo’s barfly team. I beat him. He is rated a 5 on the APA. To bad, because he is not a #5 under Rumble-fish standards. He would be a good three. I am beginning to learn my team players are very different from the rest of the APA teams. I saw Vinny in the pool hall. He is going to the hospital, Vinny is very ill. Ill visit him if he has to stay. Off to the bar.
*
this morning 1:30am coming home from the bar; Tequila shot’s-now drunk…Random writing.
Douglas walks in a little after me. There is pickled herring on the table and lots of cheese; were the fuck is the food? Douglas and Liz get a long lovely. Elizabeth is very beautiful. All over beautiful. And she likes Douglas. Wow. It was fun at the bar, lance told me a few things about some things. I agreed with him on a few things; just a few, big shit. Aaron walk in, he looks good in his new jacket. We drink we get drunk. I ate a lot of cheese. There are lots of girls at the bar. There is a six-foot chicken head playing pool. Oliver walks in, he plays, he’s good he’s on my team. Ronnie puts on the last episode of sex in the city. I hate that show. Rachel agrees with me that is patronizes the stereotypes of men and woman. Lindsey brings drama to the bar; Lindsey always brings drama to the bar. Douglas almost looses my notebook. I am drunk right now. Aaron byes me a falafel. Emi walks in with her crew at 12:00am. I love Emi. She is the best. Sam is drunk, mmmMMMmmmMmmm; be good William. Val is drunk. Patrick grabbed my ass.
John tells me I write too much on my diary, less words more pitchers. Michelle is on the floor piss drunk playing with a little wind up toy of jumping boobies. I smoke a lot with Aaron. Jim walks in, I miss Jim; or I’m gona miss Jim. Mel has wicked eyes. AJ is beating everyone on the table. Val tells me I get way to many freebees at the bar. Val is hot. Maybe I can get away with a freebee Val. Aaron is hungry. Aaron is out cold with his new jacket.

It’s Sunday 10:00am…
Did laundry, ate break feast took a shower, spoke to Emi; Happy Birthday baby, Emi is now at age were she wont say how old she is anymore. That’s graduation day I remember when I was at the age of…bla…bla…bla…bla. Then I kept it quite.

*
Anyway I couldn’t decide if I need a shave, is it time for the goatee to go? Is it time to get ride of the rebel security blanket across my face? Naaa. I'll keep it for a little while longer. At least for the winter, I still need to got to the gym, spring is almost here.
Today im going to play pool, meet Emi later then off to Ronnie’s party. I'll up date later, chow.

Bemuse…
I need lessons. I wont say in what. But what I need is, energy control; maybe. It is not that I am hyper active, or a sloth ether. But, time with me has an effect on my moods. I am sitting here in the bar, its 8:26pm and all I can think about is that thing that bothers me. I am so mixed up right now. I am not the most forgiving person. Is this bad? I feel like an asshole. I feel like I am right but why do I feel left, alone… I am not wrong.
*

Distractions… 8:35pm. Ron just walked in the bar as I sit here writing, as I am not improving my pool game…its his birthday today, 35years, wow that make me xcx years older than him…he is going to celebrate it on Sunday. Lots of food and drinks on Sunday. Ronnie is wearing white. Kind of reminds me of Mr. Roark from Fantasy Island. |||||| Joe just walked in…quote of the evening, “gorgeous girls of a feather flock together”. Meaning? Michelle old roommate (Jamie) is visiting her at the bar. And of course, she is good-looking; a lot good-looking. Almost Fairy like. |||||| 8:45pm. Karolyn just walked in. red hair sugary lips, banging figure, She’s passionate. If I had the means, if I could, I would help her with her current problem. She stepped out for ice cream. ||||||| 8:50pm. Stephanie just walked in mmmmmMMMmmmm. What can ya say…wow. Still got to get her tickets for the ballet. If I had the means she would definitely get my attention. All the time. ||||| Karolyn is back. Ice cream. Yummy. Ronnie has taken notice of the beautiful creature sitting at the bar; Jamie. Ronnie is now sitting with the beautiful creature at the bar. What ever.

Distraction Magic Jamie How does this happen?

*

Ok…time to write something that is not going to take my attention away.
Getting back to what I was feeling before. There is a rush of hot blood in my system that wont leave, ripples in the water, what ever you want to call it. I feel cheated. I don’t want to turn into the ice king. The ice king is cold and scary and does bad things sometimes.
*

More distractions…. I just did a shot with Ronnie. Michelle asked if I wanted to go with her and Jamie to Anatomy bar. Before we all went I watched Jamie shoot some pool. She is magical. Making balls like she-owns-em. While she was shooting I noticed her stature is very lovely. Smooth, curvy and yoga-like even. And her eyes are to die for. Whatever. After she won like a million games we went to Anatomy bar.Not much happening there so we went to Ace Bar and shot for a while; got drunk and went else where after ward and got drunk some more hanging with beautiful girls is not such a bad thing sometimes. Whatever. Found a wallet with a lot of money in it. The owner came looking for it and hour later at the bar, so I returned it. Karma. Some dude wanted to fight with me and tom at the bar. I ignored him but he kept on. So I gave him the fearless-crazy look, then he shut up. I really wanted to kick his ass at that moment but he backed down so I let it go. If we got into a fight I would have been pounding three months of irritation on him. Lucky boy, lucky.

Tim is hard-core, he drinks till he vomits, yea baby!!! 4:08pm. Just got invited to a kegger this coming friday, were gona burn the house down.

The Friday after Jims going away party…. I’m a little drunk and so is Aaron
Sitting here with Aaron 1:30am in the morning on the subway platform, He likes Jim he tells me, Jim likes him, Jim like s the team. Jim said Rumble fish is the best pool team he has ever been on; ever. He is sad he’s leaving the team. He asks me three times about what’s-her-face ”why did she leave?”-Pause-stare-pause “Get her back will,” he’s tells me. I said to him; once I thought she was the best part of the team, the best part of me being a captain, I guess i was wrong cuase she left anyway, I told him; she felt obligated to the other team, Jim says with confusion, if there are obligations, shouldn’t then first, ”her obligations first be with us?” and not the other team she barley knows. I said some people in the APA think this is normal behavour; jumping on teams you barley know is ok, I mean you did right? I just don’t know anything anymore; we got dumped, the end. He was probably wondering why she wasn’t there at the bar as well to say good-bye ether; sad. I told her man the day he opened up to me about his life to be here today Feb 19 at paddies, maybe he forgot, they didn’t show up any way. What ever, no big whoop. I got tierd of talking about it already so we did shots. Aaron showed up and so did Douglas with his ruff-neck buddies. Jim is sad he leaving, He was telling me few personal reason why, he needs to be home now. my school of Rumblefish are slowley swimming away. Played killer afterward, I got knocked out in the middle some were, and I hope Jim won. I am going to miss Jim. He’s a Rumble fish.

Pool with me is like fucking... if I don’t feel like getting it up...there will be no game...err...sex...whatever; you get the principle. I like Heath, he’s cool. I played Heath a game of pool. I didn’t want to, but I did. He won, I think. Left me with all the balls on the table; I think? I was already wobbly when he got there. I really didn’t care to win, to shoot, to get it up get hard and play. Didn’t even try. His lady was watching nonchalant with sharp urgency; I like her; she’s brave. Showing the skills to the guy is pointless; he beat me already when what’s-her-face joined his team. Though I have a suspicion he is not aware of what transpired between her and her old team and me. Witch will probability be broken (my team) bye the end of this season. He’s a nice guy. I wouldn’t mind having him on my team or me on his. We spoke, we think alike. When we spoke it was like talking to a mirror. I didn’t bring anything up about the stuff in the past, I felt embarrassed. I know snow-white is talking smack to his beautiful lady about me; she is looking at me funny, she wants to say something but I think she is not sure. I don’t blame her, the whole thing is dumb anyway; spicy but dumb. Maybe I’ll get Heath a spot at my bar and get him off that shit table he plays on at Pool-Bag. Ronnie would like that.

Jennifer wants to join the team yayy! She referred to my team as that good team down there. Flattery will get you everywhere; just kidding. Marcus also wants to join the team, now I have a choice, better make it before the end of the day or I will get no one.
Douglas shows up at Paddies and everybody looks at him like the enemy. Why? He’s one of the best guys I know. Whatever. He’s cool with me. Douglas walks in with to ruff necks from his old hood. Look like the kind of guys I grew up with back in my old south Bronx days. I thought they were cool; ruff but cool. There were lots of APA players there it humbling. Everybody is good; though I played like I was in a coma most of the night I know when I turn it on I can be scary; I don’t like that sometimes. People like a winner but they also look at you funny and always want to challenge you.
I shot at pool hall yesterday I shot ok. Ran some tables then I could make a ball on some next ones. My random thoughts get in the way of my game sometimes. Its ok. Its just pool.

5:17pm. I was just on the phone with a teammate. I told him I need a break. He says, "Well if your winning why would you need a break?" I said to him, just because I’m winning still doesn’t mean I need a break. I need a break. He was a little confused. What ever.This is pretty much the mantality of most of the APA players I know.

Happy Birthday RumbleFish Aaron...
Time feels like it movie a million miles a second then it feels like every minute is and hour. I don’t know what is going on with me. I’m waiting for something to happen. I don’t know what it is. Anyway today is Aarons Birthday I’ll buy the pool champion a drink or two or three or four ;mwa hahahah hahhahahha ha. Today is the final goodbye for Jim as well.

Yesterday at home me and my nephew watch our first “R” rated movie together. The movie was called Bourn Identity staring Matt Damon and some chick that looked just like him. It was great we laughed the whole time. He thought that Matt Damon’s counter part in the movie who-was-a girl looked just likes him. They had the same cleft on there chins or what some people call a but hole on the chin. My nephew said they were twin but holes. When matt Damon and the girl counter part started kissing in the movie he went ill. My nephew is 12.

Lindsey will be OK…
Tomorrow im going to visit my buddy Lindsey, she is the best. I am glad she is ok. I don’t know what I would do if anything were to go erroneous.

 

 

4:05pm I got another young hot or not honey match up. I think im going to respond to this one and see were it goes. If there is grass on the field play ball, just kidding. Or is it just kiddy? LOL man I kill me.

And the beat goes on…
Tuesday team yesterday got three points. Rachel could of won but the other player who was a level two got some lucky leaves; you APA players know how that goes. My first time managing the Tuesday team. It was ok. Everybody is cool, My Monday team is better though, but we are getting few, Vinny is very ill and doesn’t want to play this season. I could make it with six players through out the season but it will be ruff. I really wish I took the season off but Ronnie and the rest of the bar wants me around a little more now than ever-before. I won my match yesterday, it was a good win. That guy was from Finland. A champion. Both teams were laughing at me yesterday for asking him a little about his background. Nobody took notice of the way he was standing and looking at the table. Peter laugh at me when I said the guy new how to shoot. He said, “How the hell do I know that? Its his first time on the APA”. That guy fooled everybody. I was nervous because I knew he could shoot. Little things gave him away, the way he chalked his stick, you can tell. What ever. I turned him into a three when I beat him yesterday. Right now it’s possible he is the strongest three in the Tuesday division. Whatever, Tried to get him on my Monday team; he works on Monday. Whatever. I really wish I took the season off.

Irritated Man...4 tabs of B-12 today. I have been so irritable lately, could be cold related, and could be with my current situations. Tomorrow is Aarons B-day. He hinted me about a surprise party. I wish I had the cash to set one up, but ill get him drunk instead at paddies tomorrow while saying good-bye to Jim. Ronnie is having a B-day this Sunday, I think, lots of free food and drinks; free!!! I’ll be there.

Mad world…
Rumble Fish yet again has gotten an amazing 4-point xxxtory yesterday against Mona’s Athletic club. Oliver Takes Command on right with a two zero win following Aaron amazing three to two xxxtory against the over rated Nick the level 6, Then Douglas came along with a 4 to 2 whoop-ass against the lovely Tina Wong. Then in the end it was a Captain William Fuentes who played Fucken-Floyed with his last pot to piss in for the final point on the Rumble Fish roster.

Did I say I wasn’t going to play anymore? I really wish I wasn’t. But now Ronnie wants me to captain his Tuesday team (Just for today). Well, with all the girls on the team now down to #4’s. I should be a simple sweep. Man, what the hell is going on with the APA and captain shortages. Rumble fish will probably take the season again. I still feel disenchanted from last season but my players are on top of me extra hard this season and now the players on Tuesday are pointing in my direction for input. Why god why? Just when I thought I was out they drag me back in. I need help. I wish I had a rock sold co- captain.